Once you get in a relationship, there is a transition from being “me” to “us”.
But that doesn’t mean you have to completely lose yourself within that.
It’s wild how many people believe that you have to do everything with your significant other once you are together.
But what if I told you that’s not the case?
What if I told you there are benefits of taking a break from your “us” to go on a solo adventure for you?
My husband and I started off our relationship with a whole lot of long distance, and I’m a firm believer that if it weren’t for those experiences, we wouldn’t be where we are today.
Lots of people were worried that we wouldn’t “make it” because we were apart from each other the majority of our relationship in the early years.
We are so much stronger because of the decisions we have made, and there will never be feelings of animosity or regret that we were held back.
When our careers took us to different locations, we went. Not a day goes by that I regret being on different continents or in different time zones.
Being in a relationship should help you grow with each other, but also be supportive and help you grow within yourself.
For me, I have always been a lover of alone time and pairing that with travel has opened up my eyes to so many different, and incredible experiences.
Take a look at what I have found out during my solo trips while in a relationship.
Benefits of Solo Travel While in a Relationship
You are in charge
I’m known to be on the go. When I say I want to be out the door at a certain time, I mean it. I hate having to wait for people. I’m pretty selfish when it comes to my time. So when I get to decide what time I will catch a bus, when I will eat, what time I wake up… it’s absolute bliss that it’s all on me. And I can do what I want when I want. You don’t need to consider what your travel partner is feeling like either. It’s time for you to be selfish! My husband and I are pretty good with being on the same schedule, but being solo I can literally go whenever I want. No more waiting? Yes, please!
I love, love, LOVE my alone time. Ask anyone who knows me. I seriously jump up and down when I realize I will have a night to myself. That’s not to say I don’t love my husband and being around him- I just really enjoy being in my own head and spending time with myself. When I travel solo, I get to have as much, or as little, alone time that I need. Those are the times when I get my most thinking done.
It is super important to not lose yourself when you get in a relationship. You need to continue being your authentic self, and if your authentic self is like me- you want to feel independent. Taking a solo trip will help you remember that you are an individual and can continue to explore by yourself. You don’t need to feel “trapped” or always feel dependent on someone else. If your significant other doesn’t understand why you want to go alone, you will need to talk to them about how being independent will help your relationship. Chucky and I are always supporting one another and understanding that sometimes you just need to take time for yourself. Traveling solo means you only have yourself to rely on, so you will learn to develop new skills such as navigation, transportation, and working through language barriers.
Meeting New People
For some reason when Chucky and I travel, people assume because we are a couple we don’t want to be bothered. However, when you are solo, people are more open to introducing and socializing with you. It’s sad to think about, but I understand because there are times when I do that, too! Being a solo traveler you meet other solo travelers who are just as eager and excited to meet new people as you are.
Forces You to Get Social
On the same subject as meeting new people, being solo forces you to get out of your comfort zone and meet people. I can easily rely on Chucky when we are traveling together, but when it’s just me- I have to go out and introduce myself or else I won’t get that social aspect from traveling. It’s especially important for me because I’m a pretty big introvert- so when I realize I need to make some friends and socialize, I have to be the one to do it.
When I am solo, I notice my spidey senses come out stronger than ever. I am always exploring with my guard up making sure I don’t get into any unsafe situations- so with that, I notice WAY more than if I were to be wandering the streets with my husband. I see more details of the areas I’m in, smell stronger, and see people who I wouldn’t normally notice. It’s crazy to think, but I seriously see a completely different world when I am by myself and it gives me a sense of appreciation for being able to bring all those visuals and senses home and in my writing.
Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Ah yes, the good ol’ saying “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”. In this case- there is no better saying. As much as we love our significant others, sometimes we just need space. Traveling solo really helps with that because not only do we start to miss each other all over again, but there are some incredible stories we can tell each other and have new conversations to bring to the table. Sometimes just having the same old conversations about how our days went is nothing compared to talking about the time I had to hitch a ride to a community garden run by an ex- Buddhist monk. Am I right?
Next time you start to feel guilty about wanting to take a solo trip, think about the benefits that come from it. We should no longer need to feel guilty about expressing our individuality! Support one another and be excited! You need to explore a little bit on your own. Anywhere from a day hike, to a weekend getaway, all the way to an adventure abroad. I guarantee when you come back you will be a little more grateful for one another.
Who else loves a solo trip? I would love to hear about it!